"Tell me a secret," he whispers, cradling me in his arms. The trip to Manaan is long and everyone but the two of us is sleeping. Well, and apparently Bastila. I can feel her poking around, trying to figure out what I'm doing.
"I..." I blush, looking up at him, and he smiles his most unguarded smile. "I've never had a man before."
He just plays with my hair, kissing the top of my head. "Why not, do you think?"
"Opportunity never arose, I guess." I watch the stars as we pass them, and for a long moment, we're both silent. I'm cold. I tuck my robe around myself and he pulls me tighter into his arms.
"Are you expecting that to change eventually?" And then more silence. I'm blushing again. He kisses my head again, plays with my hair. After a much longer pause, I murmur, "Only if you are."
I don't feel Bastila actively trying to spy on me anymore. She's probably fallen asleep. "Tell me a secret," I murmur softly. I don't actually know why we're being so quiet. We could be herding bantha and it's unlikely anyone on the ship would hear us. But the quiet connects us, reminds us how close together we are.
"I don't remember what my wife looked like. I can remember details. Her smile, what her hair smelled like. But I can't come up with a portrait."
Now it's my turn to give him some time, try to be comforting but not to push him. "You must have really loved her."
He smiles, sad and fond at the same time. I know he did love her, when he talks about her he gets a far-away look that might upset me pettily if he didn't then blush and say something about how I remind him of her. "What do you mean?"
"Well, if you didn't love her, when you looked at her you would have seen her. But even when... well, you always must have just seen love when you saw her. If love for you is her smile and how her hair smelled, then there's no shame in not knowing the bigger picture."
I can see I've eased his mind a little and I lean back into him. After several moments, he says softly, "Thank you for helping me find Dustil."
"Of course, Carth. Don't be too hard on him when you get back to Telos. Be proud that he still has some good in him."
He smiles again, though this time it's guarded, mostly for my benefit. Too soon, he's carrying me to the barracks. By the time I let myself in, he's gone as usual, and I sigh a little sadly before waking up Bastila.
"Why do you do that?"
"Do what?" She's tired, but she's not dumb, and after a few moments of me refusing to play she gives up. "When you're with him you're at peace. It makes it easier to sleep, feeling that energy."
I roll my eyes and climb into my bunk. "Whatever you say, Bastila," I murmur, falling asleep.